I spent the past week with my lifelong best friend. Jess and I first met as preschoolers at our church’s Sunday school. We attended each other’s childhood birthday parties, were permanent summer camp buddies, saw every Harry Potter movie together on opening night, and served as bridesmaids for each other.
We have been a constant source of home for each other, providing a calm voice in the chaos or an enthusiastic voice in the doldrums.
Interestingly, for the vast majority of our friendship, we haven’t lived in the same town or even the same state. For many of the stretches, we have been in the same place, we’ve lived together, but it’s been more than a decade since we last had any stretch of time together as long as a week.
As I flew to visit Jess, a small wave of concern hit me: what if we had grown apart? What if who we’ve become over the past few years, the other didn’t like anymore? What if these past few years had brought so much change that the pieces didn’t fit together as neatly as they once did? What if the lifelong connection we’ve known had faded?
When we met at the gate and instantly picked up where we left off, any concerns I had melted away. To be so in sync with someone despite thousands of miles and years apart is a precious gift. To be known at each age by someone who holds so much of your history is a privilege.
We’ve both changed a lot over the past few years. We’ve become mothers and leaders; we’ve settled into our adulthood with greater comfort; we’ve sloughed off much of the baggage of our teenage years. We’ve matured, we’ve refined and we’ve solidified. Rough edges are wearing down to smooth lines as we’ve grown more comfortable in our skin.
We’ve both stayed the same, too. Memories flooded my mind as I watched my best friend’s face flash across the face of her child, the one who’s the same size we were when our friendship began.
During my week with Jess, I was reminded in each moment of how blessed I am to have a friend like this. A bond so deep that time and distance can’t erode it. Time with this person who reminds me of the best parts of myself and thinks my quirks are part of my charm, bringing forth forgotten parts of myself and settling trivial worries.
Colleen Cook works full-time as the Director of Operations at Vinyl Marketing in Ashland, where she resides with her husband Mike and three young daughters. She’s an insatiable extrovert who enjoys finding reasons to gather people.
I was reminded of the value of my decisive nature. Jess has a gift for seeing both sides of any argument with clarity, often creating a balanced scale, so when we’re together she prefers for me to make the final call.
I was reminded to relax, because Jess always recognizes things will work out–that things always have.
I was reminded of the heartbreaks we comforted each other through in our youth, how their sad stories wove into the beautiful tapestry of our families.
A friendship like this is rare, I know: one that welcomes growth and change in each other, that delights in the new leaves turned over. I reflected while we visited on how I can be that kind of long term friend in my other friendships: one that embraces the changes in our lives without fear of the erosion of our relationship, knowing that for some it will fade and for others, change will only bring us closer together.
As the humid ocean air forced my grownup hairstyle to give way to the spirally curls I wore in my youth, a little bit of my younger self returned to my spirit too, held for safekeeping in the heart of my best friend.
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