Ret. Major Helen C. Bender breathed her final breath on Thursday morning, June 1, 2023, with family by her side. Born January 14, 1928, in Somerville, MA to the late William T. and Emily Martin, Helen lived a life that’s touch spanned generations during her 95 years.
Helen was full of strength, in body, mind, and soul. Some who know her well may describe her as tough and stubborn. Those who know her heart know that her toughness comes from love and her stubbornness a desire to do good in the name of God. She was a woman you listened to when she spoke, not out of fear, but because you knew when she chose to speak it came with the authority of love. To this day, as her granddaughter, I remember a time she reprimanded me when I was a child. Her words were firm and pierced to my core because she did not correct in haste but with a steady hold of my heart reorienting it towards truth. That is the strength she held. She knew the gospel and held the gift to gently guide others toward it. Helen held the strength to be steady in truth, freely giving of love, and quick to make you laugh.
Helen was many things to many people. She was a wife, preceded in death by her beloved husband Wilmer L. Bender. She was a sister preceded in death by sister, Lillian, and brothers, Frank and Jack. A mother, survived by a daughter, Susan (Terry) Wood and sons, Major Robert (Karen) Bender and William Bender. A grandmother survived by nine grandchildren. A great-grandmother survived by nine great-grandchildren. Helen was also a pastor, a listener, a craftswoman, a jokester, a teacher, a disciple, a friend, and despite our jealousy as her grandchildren and children, a grandmother and mother to all.
Her lack of culinary skills did not stop her from making sure everyone who entered her home was fed, her steadiness did not stop her from surprising you with sarcasm, and she always, always let you know that you were welcome no matter the time or season.
As Helen took her final breath, she did so the same way she lived her life. With a gentle strength that could only be appointed to one that lived a life well lived. A life that loved God with the entirety of heart, soul, and mind and gave love freely to others as they were herself.
“This robe of flesh I’ll drop and rise
To seize the everlasting prize;
And shout, while passing through the air,
Farewell, farewell, sweet hour of prayer!”
A memorial service celebrating the life of Helen will be held at 4 PM on Sunday, June 4, 2023, at the Salvation Army, 206 East Ohio Ave., Mount Vernon. A private burial will be held in Mount Vernon Memorial Gardens.
Memorial contributions may be made to the Salvation Army.
Expressions of sympathy may be sent to the family by visiting www.snyderfuneralhomes.com.
The Dowds-Snyder Funeral Home is honored to serve the family of Ret. Major Helen C. Bender.
Funeral home : Dowds-Snyder Funeral Home
